Part the First: This is the kind of boring one. I was talking to a friend this weekend about the excellent James Blunt CD that I have been listening to lately. On the CD, there is a track called Tears and Rain that mentions Dorian Gray, from the book by Oscar Wilde. I'd heard of The Picture of Dorian Gray, of course, but confessed I'd never read it. I've been meaning to look up the reference, and finally did so today. If you are interested in the reference, here is a short synopsis of the book. Confession part the first over.
Part the Second: this part has nothing to do with being an English major, but its related in that it's another confession about things I don't know. More precisely, things I don't know how to do. I live in Houston. We have many freeways running through our city, and the 610 loop that makes a circle (kind of more like a square, but I think of it as a circle, and its my confession) around the city. Then there is another wider circle around the city called Beltway 8. I live near the Beltway in northwest Houston, and my inlaws and several live near the Beltway in southwest Houston, so I thought I understood this loop. Clearly I don't, although I do know how the parts relevant to me work. Also, I take 610 each day to go to downtown where I work, lived near 610 when I was in law school, and pretty much have been driving in Houston for the last 12 years. But here's the confession: I don't get it. Like Tom Hanks didn't get it in Big, but worse, because I'm not actually 10 years old. 610 always confuses me, sparks frantic phone calls to R, and I hate it because it makes me feel stupid. But I just don't get it.
I don't understand how when I take the exit marked 610 North, I'm actually going East. I don't know how to find a building with the address 12450 West Loop South. If I'm at the University of Houston and I'm trying to get the Galleria, I never know with 100% certainty which 610 to take. And I can't begin to understand why, if when I go 610 North to get to the party, I cannot reverse the directions and take 610 South to get home from the party.
Mapquest directions don't help; they make things worse by lulling me into a false sense of security. I had to go to a party in LaPorte this weekend, which I've almost decided is too far to go ever again by myself with a baby. According to Mapquest, I was supposed to take 610 East from 290. But on the road, the only options were 610 North and South. HOW am I supposed to know what to do? (Maybe I'm supposed to, but that part of my brain just doesn't work. I was fine in geometry until we got to the z axis, and then my brain just went to mush.). I call R. What do I do? Go 610 North he says. You'll go north for like a 1/4 mile and then it will turn into 610 East. How does he know these things?
He has tried to draw the city out for me with my landmarks: UH, the Galleria, Sugarland, IKEA, home, the Airport. I always twist the paper, try to go into the map like Joey on Friends did in London, and never EVER come up with the right answers to his questions when he quizzes me on how to get from x to y. I though the compass in my old car would help. It didn't.
Now I have a GPS system. You'd think that would help. Uh, no. Sometimes it gives me longer routes and weird ways so I don't know when to believe the GPS gods and when to ignore them. I shouldn't ignore them, I have learned. I got lost coming home from LaPorte. I will spare you the details. Lets just say that a lot of the streets I hear about on the traffic reports in the morning that I've never been to before, like John Ralston and Federal, I've now seen. The funny thing is, I can drive with written directions or a map in a new city even as long as I don't have to mess with a loop. And as long as the directions are of the "go right past Kroger" variety and not "go north down Kirby." Landmarks are my friend. I like rights and left. Screw having to figure out north and south.
I've decided not to try anymore. We all have our strengths. From now on, R is checking my mapquest directions or the GPS route calculator and making them FFF friendly if I'm going to a new place on a loop. After that confession, you'd never guess the way R and I started hanging out and then eventually dating: I was his calculus tutor. Like I said, we all have our strengths.
5 comments:
Been there, done that. The 610 loop remained a mystery to me until I moved away from Houston. Now, it's all crystal clear. Hang in there. As long as you have R by your side, it's all good.
610 is confusing. And I have the same problem deciphering jargon like 'west loop south'. BUT! Now that I live in NYC, I can ascend from the subway , take a quick glance around and know, without a doubt, if I'm facing N, S, E, or W. That is probably because Manhattan is built like a grid... Just look at the street signs on each block. If they are going up, you are going north...
Your mental picture of a squarish circle is going to help you understand...
Imagine a square. You have to name the four sides -- you could use "top", "bottom", "left", and "right." If you ran your finger along the top of the square, which direction would your finger be moving? Left or right, correct?
If you ran your finger down the left side, your finger would be going from top to bottom or bottom to top, correct?
Don't just try to imagine this. Draw a square. Let your finger follow the lines and say which direction they're going.
Thus it is with the loop. Yeah, it has rounded corners, but it's really a square. With four sides called "North" (top), "South" (bottom), "East" (right) and "West" (left).
So just like the example of the square above, if you're on the North Loop you can only go east and west (just like the South Loop). If you're on the West Loop, you can only go north or south.
I should have said up front that your confusion only indicates that you're sane. It's been 15 years since I lived in Houston, and when I first had to learn this some 15 years before *that* the Loop more or less defined the metro area (south and east, especially). Four-lane 290 ended at Dacoma, 249 was 2-lane and called 149, and the only thing on 1960 between 45 and Highway 6 was a Cornelius Nursery (which is still there).
I don't have reason to come back now, but up until last fall I did and it occurred to me more than once that I'm glad I learned my way around when I did.
Sorry for the rambling.
Tom S., that was actually very helpful! Thanks!
Yep! Been in Houston all my 31 years, and I corroborate the confusion it can cause. When I first started driving at the age of 17, I quickly became aware of the disparity between the actual cardinal directions and the ones printed on the signs. It wasn't too long before I used my awareness of "inside the loop, towards downtown" and "outside the loop, away from downtown" to help me get to places. And of course, I think almost everyone loathes cardinal-aided directions, as they can be very esoteric- case in point: Houston's 610 loop. Left and right ought never go wrong. Okay, then!
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