The Holiday Update Letter

I usually send out holiday cards to friends and family each year. I usually just send a card, and never include one of those "Dear Friends and Family" Holiday Update Letters. In the past, whenever I've received them, I tend to roll my eyes at all the accomplishments trotted out in a thinly veiled attempt to brag about how amazing The Smiths' life is. Susie always loves the clarinet, John is an Eagle Scout, Mike just got a big promotion, Elizabeth took this amazing trip! Sure, it's nice to know what's going on with people you don't talk to every year, but those letters always come off as a bit smarmy.

We've had some big changes this year. We bought a house, I had some big health problems this spring and summer that thankfully have now been resolved, Boo Boo has started talking, likes to go swimming, plays by himself, sweeps the floor (and carpet and wall) each night, R got a new job ... all things that the guy R went to high school with that we don't see unless someone's getting married, or my old boss from 2 jobs ago might potentially be interested in. Still, I know that I can be pretty harsh with my critique of those letters, so I hesitated to write one.

I thought if I made the tone less self-congratulatory/bragging, and more modest/we're thankful for these blessings, I could pull it off. But I couldn't write about the illness without making the letter too sad, and then to be vague about "health problems" doesn't really explain the magnitude of the seriousness of the situation. So I took the health issues out, and tried to keep things light.

I thought I'd throw in some self-depracating humor for the eye-rollers, a cute Boo Boo story for young parents, and a basic update for those we haven't been in touch with. And I still couldn't get it quite right. So finally I decided not to do one at all. The people closest to me who actually care about what's been going on probably know already, either because they read my blog or I talk to them. And to those who don't know, well, why try to tell them when they will probably dissect the letter any way? So then I spent the rest of the night reading funny ones on the Internet while sealing envelopes. Whee! My cards go out in the mail today!

Overheard

Scene: Post-dinner and bath, Mommy is logged in working, R is putting Boo Boo to bed. Daddy is tired, Boo Boo is talkative, babbling about anything and everything to avoid going to sleep. Vote for where the rookie mistake occured in the comments.

R: It's night night time, kisses, daddy loves you, sweet dreams, see you in the morning.
BB: Morning sun.
R: Yes, we'll see the sun tomorrow.
BB: It's dark outside. Moon.
R: Yes, It's night time. We'll go outside tomorrow.
BB: On Saturday.
R: Yes, on Saturday we'll play outside.
BB: Fia come, see you. [Miss Sophia, his babysitter, is coming on Saturday.]
R: Yes, she'll come and see you on Saturday.
BB: In the morning.
R: No, tomorrow is Thursday, tommorrow you are going to play with your friends at school.
BB: gibberish, Sadie [best friend] choo choo school, gibberish.
R: Right. Okay, night night, kisses.
BB: Water, water, daddy.
R: You have your sippy cup of water in the crib.
BB: All fall down.
R: Did it spill? Let me see.
BB throws the sippy cup on the floor and says: water all fall down, water, please, water, daddy, water.
R hands the water over.
BB: Oh, thank you! [Drinks].
BB: More water, daddy, heavy water, daddy.
R groans. You want MORE water?
BB: Yes
R refills sippy cup full so its appropriately "hebby" and hands it over.
BB: Oh, thank you!
R: Okay, Boo Boo now its time for night night. Daddy's tired.
BB: Daddy's sleeping?
R: Yes, Daddy wants go night night and sleep too.
BB: Elmo's sleeping
R: Yes.
BB: Kiss Elmo.
R kisses Elmo, kisses Boo Boo, says night-night and walks out.

Two minutes of silence. Then "Mama!" we hear. And it starts over. He'll talk about the airplane he hears outside, how he ate pizza for lunch, how he wants to do puzzles in the morning, he'll pat his monkey to sleep, want a different blanket than the one we gave him, and the list is just endless.

What's up with this dawdling and stalling at bed time? We used to bathe, brush, read, drop him in the crib, kiss him good night and say we love you, and leave and he'd go to sleep on his own. He still goes to sleep on his own, but he becomes quite the chatterbox at bed time. Cute, but exhausting.

Years later, we realize our mothers got some things right

When I was 17 and would take the car to drive to the mall around the holidays, my mom would always insist I take a heavy jacket. Of course I knew better, and so I'd tell here there was no need for the coat because I'd go from the heated car into the mall, where it would be warm and then I'd have to carry around a bulky armful of puffiness or wool the whole time I shopped. Her response was always "no, you must. What if you get in an accident and have to stand on the side of the road waiting for the police? You'll freeze. Take it just in case." And our compromise was always that I'd take the jacket but leave it in the car if nothing happened.

This morning, it wasn't that cold in Houston--low 50s in the morning, I think--but as I was getting on the bus to head into downtown, I grabbed my coat. And today, coincidentally, the Metro bus that I was on rear-ended a car just as we got into downtown. As the drivers exchanged information, I got off the bus and walked the last 8 blocks to work, thankful for my jacket, nice and toasty.

Another thing my mother always used to say when my sister and I would tire of her lectures is "You need tell a child 100 times, and they may get irritated, but all that matters is that they listen and remember the 1 time that they need to." I guess her words sunk in somewhere.

Thanksgiving Stories

This was the first year that I have "done" Thanksgiving at my house. "Doing" Thanksgiving this year meant all the sides and desserts, and my Aunt was in charge of the turkeys. My sister flew in from NYC on Tuesday night and on Wednesday, we shopped for ingredients and made:

* a cheese ball
* guacamole
* sweet potato pone
* wild rice
* mashed potatoes
* broccoli rice casserole (see a carb theme here?!)
* garlic green beans with carmelized onions and pecans
* chocolate chip cookies
* Dream bars (I've been calling these 7 layer bars, but just realized they only have 5 layers and 2 binders--graham cracker crust, chocolate chips, butterscotch chips, coconut and walnuts, with some condensed milk and butter to hold it all together); and
* chocolate chip pie

We bought a shitake mushroom quiche, spinach and artichoke dip, (which I put in a hollowed out bread bowl and everyone was very impressed), hummus and pita chips, cashews, and brownies (plus wine and beer) from Costco. I've loved Costco for years. If you don't know their story, they are such a great company: they pay a living wage, have great retention, generous benefits that the Board wasn't willing to cut even when Wall Street recommended that they could save more money by doing so, and the CEO has salary limits. And they have a great return policy with good, high end products! I print out all my pictures there, and Photo Center knows me so well that when I was sick this summer, they asked about me when they saw me come in this fall. And R and I love what we call the "cheap date special," a 1/4 lb. Hebrew National all beef hot dog and a 20 oz drink for $1.50.

My uncle fried a turkey on our drive way and we roasted one in the oven Tandoori style with tikka spices. They both turned out really delicious and a good time was had by all. We ate outside so all 12 adults could fit in one space but then came inside for dessert and Taboo. Of course I was a little stressed to load the dishwasher so I'd have clean stuff for dessert etc. but following my list helped. Although a little over anal, I had written out the menu, the grocery list, the order in which to cook things on what day, and the specific serving platter and utensil I was going to use. I had to do it though! I don't know another way!

When we went around the circle saying what we were thankful for, I was really touched that R's thing was that he was grateful for my health and that we made it through this difficult summer. When the mushiness was over, we read this poem outloud--it's not Chaucer, but it got a lot of laughs. I've changed the names, but it will give you a flavor for my crazy family, who I love so dearly.

I’m thankful for my family, I couldn’t love them more
Why you ask? Let me share stories from Thanksgivings before.
Boo Boo likes to jump, they call him the Kangaroo,
He likes to eat and make a mess, but what the hell, he’s two.
Cousin 1 came all the way from college, she came so very far.
Fortunately, she caught a ride. You see, she wrecked her car.
Cousin 2 dresses spiffy to the nines in tuxes and leather pants,
He’ll freely share views on politics, (or should I say he rants)
Sister is our New Yorker, full stories, fashion, and flair,
She always has some drama issue, even if its about her hair.
Cousin In Law is dashing, and his one-liners are so witty,
Plus he’s smart--he married Cousin 3 who is so very pretty.
Cousin 3 is a scientist who is so very nice.
She spends her days in the lab and likes to play with mice.
FFF is Type A, she’s serious and so not a punk,
It’s ironic though, a few months ago, she walked like she was drunk.
R is so quiet, but really just a big cuddly Bear,
How sad for him, in Thanksgivings past he used to have more hair.
Aunt 1 is a loyal academic. She is passionate about diversity.
But what’s up with this, first UH, then ACC, now Rice University.
Uncle knows how to work it. He’s the VP of wheeling and dealing.
Unfortunately, his wife is the queen of turkey stealing*.
Aunt 2’s love is far away, but still she’s full of life.
If you promise to stay on her good side, she can hook you up with spice.
The Friends came from Ft Worth. That was quite a feat.
Now our poem is over—C'mon everyone, let’s eat!

* My aunt apparently walked out of Whole Foods with 3 turkeys my Uncle had pre-ordered because she thought he paid for them. It was the running joke for the whole day.

E-I-E-I-O

Boo Boo and I went to Old McDonald's Farm a few weeks ago along with four other moms and their kids. It is so nice to do things with other busy working moms that are going through the same issues as me, trying to do the best while balancing work and family. While the kids played, we were able to compare notes about what to get the teachers at school for the holidays, the horrors of forced weekend nap-taking, random toddler obsessions and melt-downs, and whether Vicks VapoRub on a sick 2 year old's chest merely leads to a messy shirt or if it actually helps them sleep and breathe better. We all looked out for each other's kids, shared lunches, and it really felt like a close, warm little group. I didn't even know how much I needed this kind of friendship until I came home smiling. I have great friends, and great friends who are mothers, but when your kids go to the same school, it's a whole new level of instant closeness as you can talk about teachers, methods, etc. without having to explain everything to the other person. And feeding the animals was a huge hit!

A New Chance (retrospective with pictures)

Now that I'm finally feeling like myself again, I feel like I have a new chance to live fuller, richer life. To wit:

1. In the first weekend in October, our little family took a quick weekend vactation to Corpus Christi. We flew, and Boo Boo was no trouble on his first plane ride. We drank water during take off and landing, he made friends with the person sitting next to him, and was generally a charming little boy. He loved watching the planes through the large windows as we waited at the gate to board. And there was the beach fun, of course:

We stayed at the Omni, which was crazy cheap in October, and they were very kid friendly. There were children's menus in the restuarants, chocolate chip cookies and milk upon check in, a play room, and each child got a special "Omni Kids" backpack filled with goodies as a souvenier. Highly recommended!

2. The second weekend in October, I left R in charge of Boo Boo and flew up to see my sister in Manhattan. We had a fun weekend of shopping (I bought these boots in black and these boots in brown from a buy one, get one half-off sale at DSW). We also went back to eat at Spice, one of my favorite Thai restuarants that I discovered on my last trip. We celebrated Eid at the Leela Lounge and caught up, talking with that free abandon late at night sprawled on her bed that you can only do without a child to listen for.

3. The third weekend in October, we went to a Pumpkin Patch with Boo Boo's best friend. The duck races were a big hit.

We also went to two birthday parties. Boo Boo can says "Happy 2" and "cake" every time he hear's the word "birthday" and he gets so excited. He's been talking up a storm these last few weeks and is actually putting sentences and concepts together ("it's dark outside, no sun, it's not hot" and "ring doorbells, Elmo costume for candy"). I cannot believe how much he has grown in the last month or two. Everything they say about a language explosion around 2 is true. He is pretending (by feeding his stuffed animals and patting them to sleep), peeling oranges (the funnest thing EVER), talking about his day (we go over everything that he did as it helps build memory and its so great to hear what he focuses on. For example, the purple slide and cupcakes were a big hit at one of the parties. The moonwalk bouncer, not so much).

Have to get back to work now, but I'll continue my month later. I'm doing Thanksgiving at my house this year. "Doing" Thanksgiving, and what that means, will be another post!